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• The designer colors for kitchens were harvest gold, avocado green and burnt orange.
• Homes had only one telephone (in the kitchen). 
• Telephones came in three designer colors: black, black and black.
• The telephone company owned your phone and it would hardly ever break. They were practically indestructible.
• There was a round dial on telephones instead of buttons. 
• You had to talk to the telephone operator to make a long distance call. 
• Local Telephone numbers had 7 digits not 10. The first 2 numbers were letters for the telephone exchange.
• Fast food was a Swanson TV dinner. 
• All TV shows were in black and white. 
• The TV stations signed off at midnight after playing the national anthem.
• A test pattern was used by TV stations. 
• You adjusted the TV rabbit ears to clear up the picture. 
• You banged the top of the TV set to get it to stop rolling.
• TV sets had two tuning dials ; one for VHF and the other for UHF. 
• Shag carpets were all the rage. 
• The best thing about summer movies and bowling alleys was the air conditioning. 
• Enclosed, indoor shopping malls were a new phenomenon. 
• The children of the house were the remote controls for the TV. 
• It was great to have cross ventilation in a bedroom (open windows on two different walls).
• Most home windows had screens to keep out the bugs. 
• Your first air conditioner at home was a window fan. 
• You dressed in your best Sunday clothes to go on an airplane.
• Air conditioners were window units (central air conditioning came later).
• You would run after the ice cream truck where you lived. 
• You were a "walker" if you lived closer than a mile to school.
• It was safe enough for your mother to tell you to go out and play and to just be back in time for dinner.
• There was a crank handle to open and close the car windows. 
• All cars had cigarette lighters and ash trays.
• The principal was your "pal." 
• The milkman delivered your milk to the milk box at your door. 
• The mailman delivered your mail to the door. 
• Ordering from a catalog meant your order would arrive in 6 to 12 weeks and delivery in 2 to 4 weeks was really fast and cost extra.
• Air conditioning in the car was optional. 
• You could add numbers in your head (no electronic calculators).
• The radio was AM only; no stereo. 
• Power steering and brakes were an option, not standard. 
• There was still a military draft.
• There were two settings for a light switch: on and off. No dimmers!
• You could arrive at the airport at the last minute and still make your flight. 
• Wall to wall carpeting was a luxury upgrade in your home. It was sold by the square yard not by the square foot. 
• Formica® in the kitchen was an upgrade.
• All home mortgages were 30 years.
• A self propelled lawn mower made mowing much easier.
• Home chimneys were made of bricks and actually burned wood logs. 
• An electric stove was a new idea (previously wood then gas).
• Microwave ovens hadn't been invented yet. 
• Jiffy Pop® made it fun to make popcorn. 
• If you grew up in the South, "an RC and a Moon Pie" was what you had for lunch.
• A breadbox was used in most homes to keep the bread fresh.
• Ice cube trays were all metal.
• The Fuller Brush Man came to your door.
• "Avon Calling"  was a welcome sound. 
• Everyone shared a bathroom. 
• Everyone ate dinner at home together. 
• The butcher cut all your meat to order. (In the country you did your own butchering.)
• Price tags at the supermarket were on each item. Barcodes didn't exist yet. 
• Cash registers were all mechanical (not electric).
• Typewriters were manual (not electric).
• You didn't bother to lock the doors at home. 
• There were attendants pumping gas at service stations. 
• An old car was 3 or 4 years old. 
• Car bumpers were chrome, not plastic. 
• There were no seat belts in cars. 
• There was no carpeting in cars. You bought floor mats. 
• Car seats were vinyl. Cloth seats were an upgrade. Leather was a luxury. 
• Tinted car windows hadn't been thought of yet. 
• Power car door locks didn't exist. 
• The car ignition key was in the dashboard, not on the steering column to lock the steering wheel. 
• The rear view mirror in the car was attached inside to the roof, not glued to the inside of the windshield.
• You got out of the car to close the garage door. There were no garage door openers.
• The only riding mowers were at the golf course.
• A popular place to go was the drive in theater with a double or triple feature.
• Getting to "first base" on a date was a big deal.
• Men always held the door for women.
• A man gave up his seat on public transportation for a woman.
• Everyone was interested in the new electric can opener. 
• A clothes dryer meant the neighbors could no longer see your underwear drying on the line. 
• Pediatricians still made housecalls. 
• Jello at school was always 3 days old and had a hardened skin on it. It was cherry or lime. 
• The polio vaccine was new and a godsend. 
• Hiding under your school desk would protect you from a nuclear attack.
• President Kennedy was assassinated and you knew exactly where you were at the time you heard about it.
• Gasoline was under 50 cents a gallon.
• Cars had a "hump" in the middle of the floor. 
• If the undercarriage of your car was rusting you might be seeing the road through the floor on the inside of the car.
• Cash register receipts were a list of numbers. There were no descriptions of what you were buying. 
• NCR was a cash register company.
• A calculator was a pencil and paper. A slide rule was for nerds.
• Nerds had plastic pocket protectors.
• Shirts all had a loop on the back.
• A "wedgie" was not a golf club.
• Everyone knew Prince Albert was sold in a can.
• Drug stores had a comic book section.
• You knew how to Yo-Yo.
• You put a baseball card in the spokes of your bicycle with a clothes pin to make noise.
• There were only 4 TV stations: NBC, ABC, CBS and the public broadcasting station. 
• Roller skates were attached to your shoes with a skate key.
• Everyone wanted a Polaroid instant camera.
• You remember flash cubes for cameras.
• Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey were separate circuses.
• You knew the difference between "mono" and "stereo." 
• You knew that a "stereo" was a record player.
• You were asked if you wanted the station attendant to check "your oil and water" when getting gas.
• You knew who Steamboat Willie was.
• You thought the Three Stooges were funny (some of us still think they were funny).
• "Flipper" was one of your favorite shows along with "Leave it to Beaver" and "Mr Ed. "
• You knew the professions of Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton.
• "You've come a long way baby" immediately conjured up memories of a particular product.
• "Double your pleasure,.double your fun" reminded you of only one product.
• Your sneakers growing up were either white, low cut or black, high tops.
• Everyone had to have a pair of penny loafers.
• You wore bell bottom pants in the 1960's or 1970's.
• You switched from paper to plastic bags to save a tree.
• You cringe remembering lime green leisure suits, see through blouses, Nehru jackets and velour turtlenecks.
• Mastercard used to be Mastercharge.
• Movies didn't have any rating system to protect younger audiences.
• You could serve in the military at the age of 18, but not legally buy or drink alcoholic beverages in most states unyil 21.
• You knew that the "British Invasion" by the Beatles was not a military operation or an insect infestation.
• "Made in Japan" meant you were looking at something made poorly and cheaply.
• A box of Girl Scout Cookies had a lot more cookies per box.
• You used carbon paper to make a duplicate copy of a document. 
• There were no copier machines only mimeograph machines. 
• A blackboard was black slate, not green or white.
• Major U. S. Highways had traffic lights and intersections before the Interstate Highway System made them limited access and eliminated intersections. 
• Roadside diners featured jukeboxes, booths and stools with counter seating and service. 
• Soda cans had flip tops that came off instead of staying attached to the can.
• Coffee cans had a slotted key to open them up.
• Fresh fruit and vegetables were only available when they were "in season."
• You could still buy penny candy for a penny.
• You paid extra for "Wash and Wear" or "Permanent Press" clothes so you did not have to iron them.
• Lava Lamps were "cool." 
• Pet Rocks were selling like hotcakes. 
• Every kid wanted "Sea Monkeys." 
• You knew what was meant by a "console" TV.
• Homogenized and Pasteurized milk were new processes.
• Tang was the drink of astronauts thay every kid had to have.
• Art Fleming was the host of Jeopardy, not Alex Trebek.
• Monty Hall started paying women for eggs in their purses on Let's Make A Deal.
• Married couples on TV slept in separate twin beds and their homes did not have toilets until Archie Bunker came along.
• "Far out" did not refer to distance.
• TV commercials made everyone afraid they had bad breath.
• June Cleaver wore a dress and pearls while cleaning house. 
• "Laugh In" and "All in the Family" were must see TV every week.
• Everyone got the daily and/or Sunday newspaper. 
• Network News anchors didn't give you their opinion, just the facts.
• Highway Patrol and Dragnet were the popular Police shows.
• Beehive hairdos were still popular.
• Everyone seemed to have a relative who always said "don't pay full price. I can get it for you wholesale."
• 8 track tapes were popular.
• You sang songs from the "The Sound of Music" in school.
• You started calling "multiple choice" tests "multiple guess"
• You always used a No. 2 pencil on a standardized test.
• A "hot lunch" in school wasn't so hot.
• For the most part father's went to work and mother's worked at home.
• A good hostess had a choice of cigarettes for her house guests.
• Cocktails were popular before dinner.
• You knew the "Pledge of Allegiance" by heart.
• Giving a gentle spanking was called disciplining your child, not child abuse.
• The neighbors would call your parents if they caught you doing something wrong.
• Your mother threatened to tell your father when you did something very wrong.
• Girls had hope chests.
• Pregnant girls were sent away somewhere to have the baby.
• A station wagon was the preferred family car. 
• TV tray tables were in almost every home.
• Your coffee maker was a percolator.
• You went to a relatives home and the upholstered furniture was encased in clear vinyl. They would tell you they removed it for good company (obviously not you) but it was sewed on permanently.
• Barbie and Ken were dolls, not collectibles. 
• You made ornaments for the Christmas tree.
• You dyed your own Easter eggs.
• A positive pregnancy test meant the rabbit really did die.
• It seemed like every kid had Tinker Toys or Lincoln Logs.
• Gas stations gave away silverware, glasses or dishes with a fill up.
• A set of encyclopedias was how you learned details about the world.
• Penmanship was taught and graded in school.
• Blackboard erasers needed to be "clapped."
• In grade school there was always a kid who liked to eat the white paste used to glue construction paper.
• A water bed seemed like a good idea until it started leaking.
• Butter was put on a skin burn. 
• At the beach someone always had Noxzema on their nose.
• Grandma felt compelled to talk about the state of her large intestine at the dinner table.
• Elastic waistbands weren't just more comfortable, they were  necessary for pants to fit.
• Your grand parents audibly breaking wind was no longer embarrassing for them.
• Some people could easily talk for 20 minutes about all the foods that disagreed with them.
• It takes longer to take all your medications in the morning than to get dressed.
• You're looking around to see who's groaning when you stand up and suddenly realize it's you.
• You stopped going to the beach after seeing "Jaws"  and realized you needed a bigger boat.
• Payphones were everywhere.
• You received new white and yellow pages every year.
• You called information for a long distance telephone number.
• You knew it was New Years Eve because Guy Lombardo was on TV.
• You spent at least a night in the hospital when you had major surgery.
• Exploratory surgery was necessary because there were no CT or MRI scans to take its place. 
• It was popularto have a lucky rabbits foot on a Keychain. 
• A pack of cigarettes was sold from a mechanical vending machine.
• F. W. Woolworths Five and Dime was still open.
• You looked forward to getting your giant catalog from Sears, J. C. Penney and Spiegel.
• You waited to get your vacation photographs back from the photo printer and developer.
• You had a Slinky, Duncan Yo-Yo, Hula Hoop or Trolls as a  kid.
• Men only went to a barber shop for a haircut.
• Brylcreem's slogan was "A little dab'll do ya"
• You used Ipana toothpaste sold by Bucky Beaver.
• You would spend hours drawing on an Etch A Sketch.
• Someone left a bottle of Scope Mouthwash on your desk at work.
• Linoleum on the kitchen floor was the preferred finish.
• Black Wrought Iron Trivets decorated many kitchen walls.
• You had to manually defrost the kitchen freezer.
• The dishwasher was you.
• Wood panels were a popular finish on the walls at home.
• You "can't believe you ate the whole thing."
• Don Rickles was your favorite comedian.
• Candid Camera was one of your favorite television shows.
• Home closets and bathrooms were tiny.
• Executive assistants used to be called secretaries.
• A long commute to the office was more than 15 minutes.
• A promotion at work meant you were getting a raise.
• Power blackouts could last for days.
• A news broadcaster was someone you could depend on for high ethical standards.
• Many people worked for the same company for 20 or 30 years.
• A college degree almost guaranteed a successful career.
• Long distance phone calls were expensive.
• Before Interstate highways long road trips took a lot more time.
• Orange juice was fresh squeezed.
• Many people drank freeze dried instant coffee. 
• The only sugar substitute was saccharin.
• Watches that didn't need to be wound were called self winding. Battery operated watches came later.
• There were no smoke detectors in homes. They hadn't been invented yet.
• Gas stations gave out free road maps so you could find your way to your destination.
• You could easily change the spark plugs in your car if you had a mind to do it.
• Sunglasses were not polarized (polarization reduces glare).
• Window glass wasn't safety glass (reduces injuries from shattered glass).
• The serial number of your car wasn't etched on all the windows.
• The emphasis in schools was on learning not testing.
• Carrying a beeper was how you stayed in touch 24/7.
• Your first mobile phone was hard wired into your car.
• Handicapped parking was someone who didn't know how to parallel park.
• People were much more likely to take personal responsibility for the consequences of their own actions. Now it's more likely for them to blame it on someone else.
• Cigarette commercials were still allowed on TV.
• Most clothes were made in the USA.
• Most of our food was grown in the USA. 
• Most of our cars were made in the USA.
• Landing on the moon was the stuff of science fiction.
• Nuclear power was also science fiction. 
• A computer was called an abacus. 
• A personal hair dryer was called a towel.
• You had to have a Superball, a Frisbee and a Hula Hoop.
• A banana seat bicycle was the only kind of bike you wanted.
• A Turkey for Thanksgiving was baked, not fried.
• The only kind of Christmas tree was real and not fake.
• The branches on the first artificial Christmas trees looked like green test tube brushes.
• The Christmas tree looked naked without tinsel.
• You remember it being suspicious that Santa would hide your presents inside your own house.
• In high school the quarterback of the football team usually dated the head cheerleader or majorette.
• A collection of used bubble gum lived under your desk or chair at school.
• Widely recognized classical literature taught in high school wasn't considered controversial.
• You know that the Teddy bear was named for President Teddy Roosevelt.
• You knew that Gomer (Pyle) and Goober were cousins.

A

• Aide N Abbett (aid and abet)
• Furst Ayde (first aid)
• Tommy Aiken (tummy aching)
• U Rose Appealed (you rose up healed) 
• Fallon Arches (fallen arches)
• A Zell Ayes (hazel eyes)

B

• Helen Bach (hell and back)
• Feudin' Mai Bailey (food in my belly)
• Patton D Bakh (pat on the back)
• Dennis L. Beau (tennis elbow) 
• Isadora Belle (is adorable)
• Bloch N Billew (black and blue) 
• Sarah Billum (cerebellum)
• Ona Bender (on a bender)
• Manuel Lay Bohr (manual labor)
• Buzz E Boddy (busy body)
• Aiken Bonz (aching bones)
• Elle Bowes (elbows)
• Kew Boyd Bohn (cuboid bone)
• Iris S Browne (iris is brown)
• I Brouse (eyebrows)
• Maury Bund (moribund)
• Hart Burns (heartburns)
• Sonny Burns (sunny burns)
• Scott L Butt (scuttlebutt) 
• Belle E Buttons (belly buttons)

C

• Brad E Cardia (bradycardia) 
• Addisyn D Cease (Addison disease)
• Mel N Collie (melancholy) 
• Huntz Corey (hunts quarry) 
• Pan Creus (pancreas)
• Oleg Crawnon (olecranon)
• Bye Hooker Crooke (by hook or crook) 
• I M Crookidd (I am crooked)

D

• Hans Sunz Decease (Hanson's disease aka leprosy) 
• Mann Dibble (mandible)
• Gray Doe (great toe)
• Rhoda Donoursycle (rode a donor cycle)
• Phil Drumm (philtrum)
• Bodie Dubble (body double) 
• Grayson Durfyre (grace under fire)

E

• Fall Echols (follicles)
• Grant Ed Cover Edge (granted coverage) 
• Perry Tone Eel (peritonial)
• Will Oper Eight
• Sir Vic Elbown (cervical bone)
• Pat Ella (patella)
• Max Ellah (maxilla)
• Barry M Enamuh (barium enema)
• Pee Greenwith Ennvie  (pea green with envy)

F

• Aesop Fagoose (esophagus)
• Art Z Fartsy (artsy fartsy) 
• Tripps N Fawls (trips and falls)
• Landon Once Feat (land on one's feet) 
• Clay Feete (clay feet)
• Getz Ivy Flewids (gets IV fluids)
• Caleb Foote (club foot)
• Q Neo Form (cuneiform)
• Glen Oyd Fossuh (glenoid fossa)
• Ty Fuss (typhus)

G

• U R Gowdy (you are gouty)
• Mona N Grone (moan and groan) 
• Nell Gunn (nail gun)
• Bludden Gutz (blood and guts)

H

• Anita Hanke (I need a hanky)
• Hank Uffer Hare (hank of her hair) 
• Hugh R Heard (you are heard)
• Helen Hearty (hale and hardy) 
• Neese Hert (knees hurt)
• Ennis High (in his eye)
• Wiel Jusse Howyewdew (we'll just see how you do)
• Hair Hugo (here you go)

I

• S Claire Isabel (is clear as a bell)
• Vape R Isor (vaporizer) 
• Johnned Issed (jaundiced)

J

• Carr Jax (carjacks)
• Civel Justess (civil justice)

K

• Miss Teri Kase (mystery case)
• Trey Kia (Trachea) 
• Liddell Kidd (little kid)
• Furst Aide Kitt (first aid kit)
• Perry Kneeyum (perineum)
• Cal Cay Kneus (calcaneus)
• Brand E Knowes (brandy nose aka rhinophyma)

L

• Yu Vu La (uvula)
• Fran U Lem (frenulum) 
• Heda Lettesse (head of lettuce)
• Fad E Liffer (fatty liver)
• Reed Lipps (read lips)
• Joseph Live (jaws of life)
• N Casey Livs (in case he lives)
• I Noah Lott (I know a lot)
• Mel Leo Luss (malleolus)
• Lefty Lucy (lefty loosey)
• Cole Dost Lunz (coal dust lungs)

M

• Ledger D Mann (leger de main - "light of hand") 
• Able Buddy Mann (able body man)
• Grey Madder (gray matter)
• Allah Mentarry (alimentary)
• O. Mentem (omentum)
• Hugh Morris (humerus)
• Mac C Mums (maximums)
• Buck L Myshew (buckle my shoe) 

N

• Kidd Neese (kidneys)
• Buster Neeze (bust her knees)
• Kaye Neine (canine)
• Holmes Eck Ness (home sickness)
• Anita Newhart (I need a new heart) 

O

• Ruby Ola (rubeola)
• Jaxxon E Onmarch (Jacksonian March)
• Jen R Ossitee (generosity)

P

• Aikes N Paynes (aches and pains)
• Stone E Phaced (stony faced)
• R. M. Pitts (arm pits)
• Justin Thyme Tranz Plante (just in time transplant) 
• Jean Poole (gene pool) 
• Sienna Proplimbs (see any problems?)

Q

• Knead Tewes Quint (need to squint)

R

• Trane Rex (train wrecks) 
• Rhombus Rhume (rumpus room)
• Mitt Riffs (midriffs)
• Faye Rinks (pharynx)
• Leo Thye Ronan (liothyronine)
• Jesse Watts Rong (just see what's wrong)
• Buck R Roos (buckeroos)
• C Roses (cirrhosis)

S

• Colin O Scopes (colonoscope)
• Mike Rowe Scopes (microscopes)
• Ennis Sears (in his ears) 
• Luna Seay (lunacy)
• Nicht Shafen (nicked shaving)
• Sue Shores (sutures)
• Zee Cree Shuns (secretions)
• Collin Sikh (call in sick)
• Cox Sixes (coccyxes) 
• Hymie Spheer (hemisphere) 
• Frank N Stein (Frankenstein)
• Maya Steenia (myasthenia) 
• Evan Stephens (even-Stevens)
• Tess Stickle (testicle)
• Aldo Stirrone (aldosterone)
• Stan Dupp Strait (stand up straight)
• Job Stryker (job striker)

T

• Paris Tallsuss (peristalsis) 
• Kappa Tate (capitate) 
• Dex Terity (dexterity)
• Hugh Terrous (uterus)
• Miss N Terri (mesentery) 
• Sana Terry (sanitary)
• Tung Thai (tongue tie)
• Orel Hell Thigh-Jean (oral health hygiene)
• Luna Tix (lunatics)
• Wright E Tidey (righty tighty)
• S Caper Tiste (escape artist)
• Spleened Toomey (explained to me)
• Isaiah Tumutch (I say too much) 
• Buddy X Tremittie (body extremity)
• Muss L Trimmer (muscle tremor)
• Myles Tugeau (miles to go)

U

• Ray T Ullnerph (radial nerve) 
• Buck L Upp (buckle up)
• Billy Uss (bilious) 

V

• Essie Goose Vane (azygos vein)
• Al Veolous (alveolus) 
• O. Verries (ovaries) 
• Ginger Vitus (gingivitis)

W

• Willis A Waye (will is a way)
• Denise R Week (the knees are weak)
• Pearl E Whytes (pearlie whites) 
• Wield Wocker (wheeled walker)
• Sum Tings Wong (something's wrong)

Y

• I C Yew (ICU intensive care unit) 
• Lao C Yolks (lousy jokes)
• Aye Soo Yu (I sue you)

Z

• Gutt N Zymes (gut enzymes)

A  

• Reddy & Willin' Abel (twin models) Ready, Willing & Able 
• Fallin Archie's (shoe store manager) Falling Arches
• Upp N Atom (drill sergeant) Up & At 'Em
• Fyre Al Arms (fireman) Fire Alarms

B

• Chris P. Bacon (wild boar) Crispy Bacon
• Krystal Ball (soothsayer) Crystal Ball
• Candie Barr (chocolatier) Candy Bar
• Frank N Beens (camp counselor) Frank & Beans
• Barb Belle (fitness instructor) Bar Bell 
• Sal Ed Bowles (chef) Salad Bowls
• Greene Byle (surgeon) Green Bile

C

• Kool J Katt (wrangler) Cool J Cat
• Leed Carr (racecar driver) Lead Car
• Mel Bah Krisp (snack tester) Melba Crisp
• Custer Day Clare (dessert baker) Custard Eclair

D

• Tara Dactyl (paleontologist)  Pterodactyl 
• Jak Danyells (power drinker) Jack Daniels
• Bille Dolloar (treasurer) Bill Dollar
• Pennie Dolloar (bank teller) Penny Dollar
• Ben Dover (proctologist) Bend Over
• Patt Downe (TSA agent) Pat Down
• Donald Duck (cartoonist) Donald Duck

E

• Eyegot Ebola (epidemiologist) I got Ebola
• Depe Eckos (spelunker) Deep Echoes
• Waide Eddy (life guard) Wade Eddie

F

• Wilde Flours (florist) Wild Flowers
• Geau Foreword (motivational speaker) Go Forward
• Redd Foxx (wildlife biologist) Red Fox
• Katt Fischer (noodler) Catfisher

G

• Lotta Gaull (yenta) Lot of Gall
• Fore Given (charity volunteer) Forgiven 
• Doug Graives (mortician) Dug Graves
• Blood N Gutz (soldier) Blood & Guts

H

• Phil Harmonix (music conductor) Philharmonics
• Dobie Headshoppe (vape store owner) Doobie Head Shop
• Charly Hoarse (masseuse) Charlie Horse
• Les Hearin (audiologist) 

I

• Diss Interry (GI doctor) Dysentery
• Loan Lee Isle (castaway) Lonely Isle
• Rhee Iterate (video replay official) Reiterate
• U Lews Inchez (dietician) You Lose Inches

J

• Cooke E Jarr (gourmet) Cookie Jar
• Dee Jected (motivational speaker) Dejected
• Hai Jumper (athlete) High Jumper
• Lotta Junk (hoarder) Lot of Junk

K

• Mona Kerr (FBI agent) Moniker
• Liddell Kidd (child prodigy) Little Kid
• Joe King (comedian) Joking
• Jed I Night (astronaut) Jedi Knight

L

• Brock Lee (vegetable farmer) Broccoli
• Budd Lite (bartender) Bud Light
• Goldy Lox (mattress sales) Goldilocks
• Baroque N Limm (arborist) Broken Limb

M

• Chet Maite (chess master) Check Mate
• April May (calendar model) April May
• Nell Rhee Mover (nail remover) Nail Remover
• Korn Millar (crop farmer) Corn Miller

N

• Fisch Noodler (fisherman) Fish Noodler
• Cici U Nurse (CCU nurse) CCU Nurse (Coronary Care Unit)
• Buck Nekked (nudist) Butt Naked
• Rose Nozgay (floral artist) Rose Nosegay

O

• Rose E Ola (pediatrician) Roseola
• Devine Oarakle (fortune teller) Divine Oracle
• Goode Awfer (real estate agent) Good Offer
• Lott Ohare (hair stylist) Lot of Hair
• Aaron D Orbit (optometrist) A Round Orbit

P

• Petal Poosher (fashion designer) Pedal Pusher
• I M Posster (makeup artist) Imposter
• Dyl Pickel (deli owner) Dill Pickle
• Peder Pie Pear (plumber) Peter Piper

Q

• Emma Quacker (duck hunter) I'm A Quacker
• N E Quality (meat inspector) Inequality
• Welle E Quipt (car dealer) Well Equipped
• Ona Qwest (explorer) On a Quest

R

• Kash Redgistear (check out girl) Cash Register
• Hans Ringer (worrywart) Hands Wringer
• Hugh Risket (gambler) You Risk It
• Pickett Randome (investigator) Pick At Random

S

• Rose A Shia (rosacea) Rosacea
• Sandie C Shoar (shell collector) Sandy Seashore
• Justin Sider (whistle blower) Just Insider
• Cherie Stoane (fruit stand operator) Cherry Stone
• Trey Stryker (baseball ump) Three Striker
• Sam Sung (electrical engineer) Samsung

T

• Bill Toomey (sugar daddy) Bill To Me
• Baer Trapp (game hunter) Bear Trap
• Take A Terne (bird hunter) Take A Turn
• Paige Terner (author) Page Turner

U 

• Lacey Underware (lingerie model) Lacy Underwear
• Pick R Uppers (pharmacist) Picker Uppers
• Mel K Utters (dairy farmer) Milky Udders
• Gunna Pewk (sick patient) Going To Puke

V

• Dee Valued (Federal Reserve Board member) Devalued
• Bodie N Version (trainer) Body Inversion
• Dirk Victoree (movie mogul) Dark Victory
• B A Villin (burglar) Be A Villain

W

• Dum Waders (restarateur) Dumb Waiters
• Miss Tea Wadders (boat captain) Misty Waters
• Spede Wede (grounds keeper) Speed Weed
• Boddell O Whine (sommelier) Bottle of Wine

X 

• Gunn Xpert (sharp shooter) Gun Expert
• Trayne Xpress (engineer)Train Express
• Moo Vee Xtra (actor) Movie Extra
• B Came Xtinct (museum ditector) Became Extinct

Y 

• Kaye Yachtic (cruise ship purser) Chaotic
• Stretch N Yawn (mattress tester) Stretch and Yawn 
• Mello Yello (mental health counselor) Mellow Yellow
• Sum Wun Yung (child actor) Someone Young

Z

• Zigg Zagger (driving instructor) Zigzagger
• Gentell Zeffer (meteorologist) Gentle Zephyr
• Flaymen Zippowe (cigar sales) Flaming Zippo
• Cal Zone (Italian chef) Calzone